What's Holding You Back?

Valorie Burton is a bestselling author, speaker, and life coach dedicated
to helping you:

  • Be happier and have more fun, even when life seems routine.
  • Navigate setbacks or disappointments that make you better, not bitter.
  • Make a major life change that's exciting and scary at the same time.

The Most Important Step to Getting Unstuck!

Why is it that we ignore the truth? Or even hide from it? You had an inkling that the person wasn’t who they appeared to be, but you got involved anyway – now you feel stuck trying to get out of the relationship. You knew instinctively it was not time to buy that thing you just knew you had to have, but you wanted it, so you got it. Now, you’re stuck with the bill, and it is causing problems. You didn’t want to take on that project. In fact, your stomach turned when you were asked to do it, but your people-pleasing personality led you to say “yes,” and now you’re stuck, resentful and completely overwhelmed! You knew that wasn’t the right career path for you, but out of fear or insecurity or bowing to what others might think, you chose it anyway. To be clear, I don’t say any of this to beat you up. I say it so we can start this journey in a place of honesty. The first step to getting unstuck is a simple one: Tell yourself the truth. And behave based on that truth. It is easier said than done. Telling the truth and acting on it ruffles people’s feathers. It may make you quite unpopular. It will make you uncomfortable at times. But nothing gets more people stuck than ignoring that still, small voice that persistently speaks if only we will listen.

Telling yourself the truth is bold. It is a simple act, but one of the most courageous. And it will set you free and on a path to a life that is absolutely unstoppable. Answer some simple, but bold questions:

-What are you afraid to admit?
-What are you really afraid will happen if you take action?
-Whose approval are you so afraid of not gaining that you forego your dreams, your wisdom and your freedom?
-What do you avoid for fear of facing the consequences of change?
-And what would you have to let go of in order to move towards the life God imagined for you?

I realize these aren’t easy questions, but I believe the answers lie within you and they are so powerful, that when you answer them truthfully, your next steps begin to unfold in a big way. You can run from them or ignore them, but they are not going away. That’s the power of having the courage to tell the truth.

Truth awakens you from the deep slumber of lies. In pretending we don’t hear the voice of the Holy Spirit or resisting the guidance of that voice, we get to live a lie. “God, did you say this man I’m dating is not ‘the one’? That couldn’t be you. We’ve been together too long. I’ve invested too much. If I don’t stay with him, then what? I’ll be alone again. I’ll never meet anyone else. God, that can’t be you. No, that wasn’t you. I’m going to stick with what I have.” And more years progress and the relationship doesn’t. You feel stuck. Or maybe it’s not the relationship. Maybe it is your money habits. You know you need to be a better steward, speak up and negotiate what your contributions are worth, but the idea of doing so scares the dickens out of you. You imagine yourself groveling for a better salary and being thrown out of her office or telling the dealership you want a better price and they laugh in your face. “No!” you imagined being yelled at with disgust. “Who does she think she is?!” And so, you are quiet. You don’t just want a better deal or higher pay, you need it. But feelings of insecurity may lead you to pretend all is well financially, even when it is not.

Truth telling takes courage. But if you are to be free and live the amazing life you were created for, it is necessary. Embrace the truth of what you know deep down and you take the first step towards becoming unstoppable. This week’s newsletter is adapted from Get Unstuck, Be Unstoppable, which will be officially released this week, Wednesday, October 1! Order it this week and get a free, half-day workshop with me and more gifts when you email your receipt to getunstuck@valorieburton.com. Click here to get your copy now!

Challenge: Listen to the divine inner wisdom that whispers the truth to you. Do not ignore it. Do not hide from it. Have the courage to embrace it – regardless of the fall out. Get ready to be unstoppable.

Journal about it: What is it time for you to admit? What action would you take if you embraced the truth? Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear from you!

If You Are Tired of Starting Over, Stop Giving Up!

In what area of your life have you contemplated giving up lately?  It crosses the minds of even the most tenacious – I’ve been there. And this week, I feel led to encourage you to hang in there.  I know, I know. You’re tired.  You thought things would have taken off in your career or business by now. You’ve tried and tried to make the relationship work, but you’re losing hope that it ever will. You’re on your third diet in five months and you weigh two pounds more than you did when you started.

I saw this quote recently:

“If you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up.”

It is such a simple concept, but in our fast-food world of instant gratification, it’s a concept that we need to be reminded of. The temptation to give up is one of the most enticing temptations you will ever face.  Rather than running towards something new, try digging your heels in right where you are.  Manage your expectations about how quickly things must happen and find the lesson that’s being offered to you in your frustration.  Ten years from now, what will you wish you had done in this season of your life?  Will you wish you had stuck with it? What reward will you reap for staying the course?  Perseverance is not usually fun, but it works.

Don’t get me wrong. Starting over is sometimes a necessity. No need to continue down a path to nowhere.  In such cases, it’s best to turn back and find a new path.  But when starting over is not a necessity, it is a setback. And often you discover that the new thing you pursue – the new job, the new relationship, the new diet – only presents a new set of challenges, often not so different from the ones you have right now. They’re just new and repackaged.  If that’s you right now, on the verge of giving up – out of exhaustion, disappointment or impatience, try these three strategies:

1.  Get some grit.

Research shows that “grit,” that tenacious spirit that sticks with it, is a determining factor for success in school, sports and business. Make a decision not to give up until you reach your goal. Remove “giving up” as an option.  When you do, you can refocus your energy on finding solutions to the challenge before you.

2.  Get some perspective.

When you become worn out on your journey, the negative emotion narrows your perspective and you begin to only see more of the negative.  Isolating yourself can cause you to falsely perceive that you are the only one dealing with your challenge. Not true. Reach out to positive friends or family to get encouragement.  Read articles or books about people who’ve succeeded at your goal – all of them have surely faced failure and disappointment on the road to success. Put things into perspective and you begin to see that the test you are enduring right now will ultimately become your testimony.

3.  Get some rest.

Sometimes you just need to stop trying so hard to make things work.  Give yourself a break. Pray. Trust. Believe. Relax. Research shows that as you move towards goals, you deplete your energy.  Replenish your energy so you can keep moving forward. Getting unstuck takes energy.  Make sure you’ve got plenty for your journey to success.

My challenge to you:

Don’t give up!

Journaling assignment:

In what area(s) of your life are you tempted to give up?  Ten years from now, what will you wish you had done during this season of your life?  Will you wish you had stuck with it? What reward will you reap for staying the course?  Is it time to make a decision that “giving up” is not an option? Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear from you!