OMG, I’m turning the Big 4-0 today!
Me? Really? Some days I wonder how that happened, and why I don’t feel as old as I thought I would at 40. I don’t feel much different than I did at 25 – perhaps I just have a youthful spirit. A year ago, I felt intimidated by 40. There were some things that didn’t go as planned in my life (Hint: Read my book Where Will You Go from Here?“) and I needed to fix them (code: get married again, have kids before 40). But something happened a few months before my birthday. I was making my bed and praying out loud – yes, I do that when I’m by myself – and I had an epiphany: There’s nothing to fix. Life is good.
I trust my journey is unfolding exactly as it should. I am happy and at peace. What more could I ask for? I’m grateful. So, as I enter my forties, I’m looking forward to some things. I share them as a challenge to you to look to the future with optimism and anticipation. Wherever you are in life, celebrate. Have something to look forward to. Here’s what I’m looking forward to:
1. Traveling to the places I’ve always said I’d go “someday.”
Something about turning 40 has finally made me say, “Valorie, ‘Someday’” is here. Get yourself to Italy! Australia! Africa! All those places you said you’d go someday? It’s time.”
2. Being delightfully surprised.
Psalm 37:4 is one of my favorite scriptures: “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” The thing is, God doesn’t tell you when or how He’s going to give you those desires. So, I’m expecting my desires to come to fruition, but who knows what it will look like? A family? My own television show? A New York Times bestseller? Running a half marathon? I’m prepared and open to the all the possibilities.
3. Looking and feeling fabulous.
Not sure who said you are supposed to look over the hill at 40. GenX and Baby Boomers have changed all that. Have you seen Halle? J-Lo? My goodness, they make you want to turn 40! So, I’m staying fit and looking my best by taking care of me. This is the only body I’ve got. I want to show my gratitude for it by treating it as the temple it is. Getting older helps me appreciate moisturizer, drinking water, and workouts more than ever.
4. Living with passion.
Each decade, I look back and I consider it a success if I have no regrets. While there are inevitably mistakes, painful setbacks, and frustrating circumstances that occur in every decade of life, I don’t regret any of mine. I’ve done my work to glean every lesson, every bit of wisdom, and carry it with me into the next season of life. And I’m declaring this next season will be my best yet!
My challenge to you: Look to your future with optimism and anticipation. What are you looking forward to in the next decade of your life? What have you been putting off to someday? When is someday? Be specific.
I’m always giving you advice and insights. Now, I’m curious what your insights are for me! When it comes to 40, have you already “been there, done that”? What do I have to look forward to? Leave me a birthday comment. I’d love to hear from you. 
Valorie,
I turned 40 seven years ago (almost 8…lol). You are correct, when you hit those landmark ages…30…40…50; you start to realize your mortality. We as a people start to realize that there are more than likely less sunrises or sunsets in the future than there has been in the past. Just imagine if we started to live our lives at 20 in the manner that is pleasing to God… “Living life more abundantly.” Traveling; getting to know new people; sharing the Word; helping the less fortunate…I do not regret any of the paths that God has lead me down over the 4 decades of my life; somethings a harder lesson than others; Teenage pregnancy; abusive relationship; a sick child; homelessness; being hurt by family and friends; but these things made me the person I am today. I actively seek His face. I pray without ceasing. I worship Him openly and freely; because if He brought me to it…He brought me through it! I celebrate my life everyday. Everyday I find a new scripture that helps me as I pass through this journey.
“Everything is permissible for me”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”–but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Cor. 6:12
Learn & Live,
Donna
Thank you for your wise perspective, Donna!
As for arriving at 40, I embraced it by believing that – the best is yet to be. I have had the most rewarding and productive years since then. I am now approaching 68, a breast cancer survivor since ’05. I am now trying to be as active at a new level which is exploring simplicity and clearing out as much clutter as I can. We must remember that we do not have the luxury of time for a negative thought. It also helps to have a wonderful loving family and a larger extended supportive community family. A long time ago I had an opportunity to hear Dr. Lane Longefellow (Lecture Theater) whose keynote speech was very moving and thought provoking and can probably still be researched – Where will we find success when ambition is no longer enough. Happy 40! It’s a new milestone.
Nancy, your wisdom is beautiful! Thank you so much. You are inspiring and I am taking your words to heart!
I turned 40 six months ago. Once thing I have noticed is I have more focus. Seems as if mentally and emotionally my priorities have changed for the better. Things that used to worry me and steal my concentration no longer matter. Those silly and petty things. I am grateful for maturity! Enjoy your special day!
Amen, Anita! I know what you mean. Thank you so much!
I am turning 42 this year and its still a bit surreal for me. The biggest thing I’ve learned is not to allow my time to be wasted in any way. I also have a list of places to visit and I’m proud to say I kicked off this decade with a trip to Hawaii! I have learned to speak the truth in love and remain true to my authentic self.
Happy Birthday!!! Peace and blessings to you today and in the future!
Thank you, Danielle! There’s no time to waste – it’s such a precious gift!
Happy 40th birthday Valorie!! I have found that it only gets better after 40. In spite of all the challenges, twists and turns, it was the best decade of my life!! I can remember when I was 15 years old actually looking forward to becoming 40. I believed by then I would be at a place in life where I would be more secure and comfortable in “my own skin”, embracing the beauty of who I was and not so concerned about what others thought of me. Boy, was I right!!….and I am now in my 5th decade and even the more free!! I celebrate you today and rejoice with you as you turn the corner to an even greater, more abundant life that God has planned for you. I pray that you will experience the desires of your heart at a level that exceeds your expectations!! (Ephesians 3:20)
Thank you, Sheila, for that beautiful birthday blessing! I had no idea you are in your 50s! That is amazing that you looked forward to 40 while still a teen. I’ve decided to be proud of being older – it is an honor and I have always admired those with more years and wisdom. We need to do that more in our culture, don’t you think!?!
Valorie! You are absolutely on track – look and feel fabulous, go places, do stuff, whatever that you have been doing and want to get done on your bucket list. In this day and age, nothing can stop you – definitely not a number! I turn 55 this month and inside me lives a 16 yo, a 25 yo and sometimes an 8 yo. O yeah! and that MAPP me. The other ages and year don’t feature. I look at some people and think they are ‘older’ even though they are younger. Why? because they dress and act their age. Have FUN! Live! Laugh! Love! and above all, Keep Dreaming <3 Happy 40th! How wonderful it is to make it thus far. Celebrate! Like they say, TODAY is the beginning of the rest of your Life. Love ya.
Sulynn! Thank you so much – I love your spirit! And you are so right. I feel so happy and so blessed. Thank you for your wisdom, and Happy 55th birthday to you!!
The day I turned 40 everything seemed different. The sun seemed brighter, The grass seemed greener. I looked at life with a new set of eyes. Turning 40 is just Fab 101! Embrace your 40′s live in the moment and exhale!!!! And I know that you are a praying women so pray that your knees never remind you of your age lol ! Continue to live life to the fullest. I love you to life Women of God! Enjoy your day with and on purpose
How beautiful, Arnetta! Thank you for such wonderful advice! Love, Valorie
Good morning Valorie and Happy 40th Birthday! Welcome to the club! I can remember when I was 38, I was eagerly awaiting turning 40. There were alot of women that really impressed me with their lives that were already 40. I wanted what they had! LOL. When my day finally arrived – seven years ago – I was so excited. I noticed immediately that my relationship with the Lord changed for the better. Things that concerned me about life when I was in my teens, 20s,and 30s did not matter anymore. I STOPPED RUSHING!! I also stopped trying to achieve what society told me I should have already accomplished in life by age 40. Society’s “to-do list” was never a good fit for me anyway because I am a child of the King! I live by God’s To-Do list that He specifically designed for me.
In slowing down, I have learned to really enjoy each day that I am blessed with…ABUNDANTLY! Being in my forties has also taught me how to truly forgive – myself and others – and not allow any negativity into my space. Society has a tendency to treat women in their 40s like we have a terminal disease; always focusing on youth. I totally disagree. WE ARE FABULOUS!!
I love the woman that I am today alot more than who I was 20 years ago and I am truly enjoying my journey now. Again, Valorie, welcome to the club! You are going to really love it here! Kelly
Love that, Kelly! Thank you so much! I’m excited to join the “club.”
You are right where you are suppose to be. Doing what God would have you to do. Living in your destiny. Can’t get any better than that at 40. You are truly blessed Valorie. Happy Birthday To You! You are an awesome inspiration to us all.
Margo in OKC
Thank you, Margo!!
Valorie welcome to 40 it really is fabulous!…I am 46 and I have experienced more favor during this decade. Your best years are ahead of you and you have accomplished so much yet so much more is on your horizon. Valerie keep your bags packed make sure you post photos of all of your new adventures. This is your decade to put everything into existence… Do not hold anything back go for it!! Happy Birthday Valorie!!…Let’s get this party started…
Love that, Nichole! The party has started!!!
Birthdays excite me! Mygrandmother and mother always made a big deal of them. The only one I had a problem with was when I turned 25; my grandfather put things in perspective for me. He said, “start saying I’m gonna be (25) soon,” about six months prior. By then you will have adjusted to the age being attached to you and your present age. It sets up an anticipatory state rather than a mindset of having missed a deadline. I have to say, turning 40 was one of my very best birthdays. I had friends and family fly in to celebrate with me from all parts of the US. I just read a great reminder on line the other day, “Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special!” BTW ~ Happy Birthday!!!
Yes, I’m making a big deal … a 12 days of celebrating, which started in Miami last Friday and will culminate in DC next Monday!
First, I want to say happy birthday to my fellow January baby! My birthday is exactly one week from today and I will be turning 37 and I must say I have have been waiting for 40 since I was 35. The women that I know who are 40 & over are so sure about themselves, what they want out of life and as you said gleaning the lessons from their mistakes. In the next decade of my life I’m looking forward to praying more and worrying less, having more depth and breadth to all of my relationships be it with my children, family, friend or the significant other that I know God will send me. Lastly, by 40 I want to be in a place so that I can give more to others and also receive what others try to give me. As an African American woman a lot of times I have put others wants and needs before mine. I am declaring that by 40 this will change for all woman. We will be strong in our convictions and unapologetic about wanting what’s best for our physical, spiritual, mental and emotional health. HAPPY BIRTHDAY 40 LOOKS FABULOUS ON YOU!
Thank you, Vanita, and happy early birthday!
After sharing all your power with us, I think it’s great that you want to hear back from us. I’m 54 years old and I think with every birthday, especially those that put us in another age group, we find ourselves re-examining our life progress. In doing this we re-examine ourselves and build a better understanding of who we are and what we want. Some things may change and some things we grew more passion for. So look forward to building a more powerful understand of you! Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday, Valorie! Wow, Forty!! As you cross the threshold of this decade stand tall, shoulders back, chin up and place the crown of womanhood on your head. Through the Holy Spirit there is a profound inner transformation that begins to excel that will truly surprise you but at the same time invigorate you. I would say your early 40′s are a time to truly get as physically fit and strong as you can ..by late 40′s 47ish it gets a lot harder and your body doesn’t respond as quickly. If God puts it on your heart to travel..then make the time…you never know what blessing you missed or blessing you could have been..remember it is His plan not your plan. But mostly, live each day so there are no regrets…Forties are great but your Fifties rock! Welcome to the club!! Happy Birthday!!!
Firstly, Happy Birthday to you. When I saw your weekly email on Sunday I had to smile because it was a reminder of what you had said when you were at Grace Cov early last year. You’ve inspired me to live and not to let setbacks get you down. Pick up the pieces and move on. I was determined to live andnot putting those places i want to on the back burner. As such my 40th birthday trip has already been booked for Greece. It`s going to be an amazing year and I’m truly blessed to be in the 40`s club with you. Have a fabulous day.
Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday dear Valorie, Happy 40th Birthday to You.
What a blessing to be Healthy, Happy and enjoying the journey our LORD has for you. The inspirations you give to us as we read your e-newsletter. It is with joy that we share the same birthday month. On the 30th I will turn 61 and I can personally tell you for me Standing On GOD’S Promises keeps me celebrating everyday, not just on birthdays or holidays. Keep Smiling. It’s time to Party:)))
Hugs,
Marjorie from VA
Hey Valorie,
From what I’ve read, you don’t need any advice. You seem to have a healthy attitude and perspective about aging. I turned 40 almost 8 years ago, and it has been wonderful. As a matter of fact, when I turned 47 I felt like I was finally READY to live. With the Lord on your side, you have nothing to worry about. Be blessed today and throughout the balance of your life.
I join millions of your friends in wishing you happy birthday. May the joy your birthday brighten everyday of your life. Best regards, Uchenna
Happy 40th Birthday,any day that God gives us is a good one, like my grandmother use to say ,somebody did’nt wake up this morning and you’re one of the lucky ones that did !!! God willing I’ll be 60 this year !!!!!
Val, think of the 40′s as the new 20′s but with greater Heavenly wisdom based on life experiences, an overwhelming amount of self-confidence rooted in faith in God and the empowering perspective that you are on this earth on Divine Assignment & the clock is ticking on your deliverables. It is a grand time of celebrating, speaking your mind assuredly, knowing in whom to invest your love, parenting the children God places in your world (& sending them home LOL), and having powerful, meaningful, mutually nourishing relationships. Welcome to the best phase of life with greater blessings than you could ever imagine. Happy Birthday & thanks for sowing into my life & so many others. Your fruit is abounding on earth. It has been great to watch you flourish. We love you, Val B.!
Roberta
http://www.facebook.com/robertaInspires
Host of Inspirradio — http://www.blogtalkradio.com/inspirradio
Host & Producer of Thriving In Business Today — http://www.vimeo.com/thrivinginbusinesstoday
Hi Val,
Turning 40 is wonderful! It’s another day that the Lord allowed you to see. Be happy and enjoy this day along with many others. Relax because…….it’s always about you. Especially today. I’m reading “Succuessful Women Think Differently” It’s great….can’t put it down. Currently on Chapter 7…..and loving it!
God Bless,
Renee
Valorie,
Consider when you turn 40 the marinating in life is completed and now it’s time for the finishing process to take place and move to the serving plateau….God bless you.
Hi Valorie: 40 means so many things. Other people’s opinions are less urgent. And you learn that judging others is silly and everyone is human. You want your life – more than ever – to stand for something. And you realize that a lot of the good choices you made were hard work – but they have paid off. Most of all – you realize you are lucky. No matter what cards you have been dealt – you are lucky. You made it here in the first place….you are still here 40 years later…..and you’ve got so much more ahead to enjoy. Be smart, save up, get your check-ups, floss like a good adult should BUT but more than anything else – never forget to be a kid and seize your own pure joy every day. Lots of love to beautiful you! Carolyn + Stefano xxoo
Happy Birthday Valorie! It’s still your birthday on the west coast. You are such an inspiration and an awesome role model!
Last year I wrote my first e-book and this year I am looking forward to writing my first book! And for the rest of the next decade I can imagine hosting my very own conference and starting a family.
BTW, I love your new site!
Well, I am just reading your blog… Happy birthday! I think it is always important to have a vision of who you want to be at any age. So as long as you are taking care of yourself and being true to your “best self” you will be at peace no matter what age!
Cheers
Happy belated birthday, Valorie! Consider the last 39 years of your life as a foundation built for the next 40 + years of your life. God has blessed you with much success. You have built successful businesses, made numerous television appearances, smiled in the face of adversity, published numerous books & other communications that have inspired millions of people. You have used your God-given tools to benefit God’s people. You are a trailblazer! Many of us are trying to catch up to you. You are a benchmark for success. I’m sure that God will meet your personal desires at a time when you think not. Is there anything too hard for him?
Happy Birthday to you! I am turning 50 this year and looking forward to it. I often say that I wish that I knew back in high school what I know now. Where would I be today?! The best thing about turning 50 is that I feel like I am getting bolder as I get older. I have finally come to the place where I know that my worth and value doesn’t depend on what other people think of me. I am able to trust God alot easier. The more I experience His faithfulness, the more I am able to trust Him, and the more peaceful I become. I would never want to go back to my childhood or teen years. I look forward to what God is going to do in my life in the future. I look forward to the continued healing that will take place. My goal is to die empty. I want to “leave everything on the field” (as they say in the football world). Whatever God has put in me, I want it to come out of me. Every gift and talent has got to be used to glorify Him. I want to grow old gracefully and when I am 90 I still want to be going for it. As you said we must take care of our bodies and nourish our minds if we are to have the quality of life that we want in our golden years. So thank you for your comments. They really resonated with me. God bless you!
Tracey L. Moore
Author of the upcoming book, Oasis For My Soul: Poems and Inspirational Writings for Spiritual and Personal Growth
I appreciate your openess about you; Your book help move me forward in a unstoppable life by acheiving my Masters in Electrical; One day I was in a books store til I saw this title “Whats Really Holding you Back” I gave it some thought I said to myself getting my Master; Hmmmm I went forward with it that year an accomplish my task in doing so (Finish what you started); Powerful title and motivation; I am happy and sad with some of your outcome; One thing for sure you are a strong positive woman, I embrace all of you and your intemerate action and sayings, keep moving forward. You can have anything you want if you allow yourself to have them, we all have a choice to acheive anything; relationship is a battle sometimes we think we have that special person to settle with chaos set in a wall start to form and build distant develop; but men and women must tear down that wall to start fresh and survive a relationship, money do change the way we live and think especially having develop a comfort zone. “Imma stop right their” TMI…………………………..
God Bless you
move forward with laughter
OH I almost forgot HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!