Success is Right Under Your Nose!

I feel led this week to give you a few words of inspiration about how your words can propel you to success rather than sabotage your efforts. Success often comes to those who know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Those with talent, but don’t communicate effectively often never get the satisfaction of fulfilling their potential. Are you a wise communicator?

In the busyness of life and work, we can sometimes forget the impact of our words. A few words spoken hastily can ruin a relationship or an opportunity. So can a few words gone unspoken. Sometimes the people around you need to hear you speak clearly about where you stand on certain issues or how you feel about them. The missing piece that will solidify success is in your relationships, job or entrepreneurial endeavors may be right under your nose! I have five simple ideas to share with you about the words that come out of your mouth:

1. Learn when to be quiet.
Some of us are more inclined to speak than others, but those who find the most success are often those who know when to be quiet. There may be a situation in your life right now that is hindered and not helped by more talking. Don’t be afraid of silence. Sometimes life’s best answers appear when we are quiet enough to listen.

2. Give yourself time to think.
We have all heard the saying, “think before you speak.” Consider this a reminder that it is always wise to consider the impact your words will have after they are spoken. Think of the best way to communicate what you need to say before you even open your mouth. Even when you are in a conversation and must respond immediately, take a few seconds first to gather your thoughts. You will come across as being more thoughtful, and you will feel more confident about what you say. If you need more time to think about how to respond, simply say, “Let me give that some thought.”

3. Refuse to murmur and complain.
We can always find something to complain about if we focus on the negative. Make a decision to appreciate the blessings in every situation and refuse to waste your words complaining and murmuring. Instead, ask, “What solution would help me eliminate the challenges I find myself complaining about?” Complaints drain your energy – and the energy of the people around you! Use your words to renew your energy, not deplete it.

4. Tell me something good!
In the seventies, Chaka Khan had a funky song that became her first hit, “Tell me somethin’ good.” I still love to sing it when I hear it on the radio. In a previous post I asked you to ask yourself and others every day, “What’s the best thing that’s happened to you lately?” Are you still asking yourself that question regularly? Stay in the habit of acknowledging the good things that are going on, so that you don’t find your conversation out of balance and focused solely on the negative realities you may face.

5. Speak your goals into existence.
One of the most common reasons many people never reach their goals is that they don’t really believe they can. Not only do they not believe it, but they speak negatively about their chances for success. Sometimes you have to speak your way into believing all that is possible for you. Speak positively about your vision for your life. “I will accomplish my goal by doing XYZ …”. Even if you hear your doubts swirling around in your head (“You can’t do that!” “Who do you think you are?!”), refuse to verbalize them. Eventually your thoughts will catch up with your words!

 

Challenge:
Watch what you say. Your words have tremendous power.

 

Journaling Assignment:
In what way(s) are your words hurting more than helping you? What specifically will you commit to doing differently this week when it comes to your words? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!

FREE recording of Goal Setters, Goal Getters!

Goal Setters and Goal Getters was such a powerful call today! Did you join (over 600 registered!) us or did you miss it? Either way, I’ve got a GIFT for you: Download the recording here or use your phone to dial in and listen. Enjoy!

Listen here (slide the bar forward to fast forward through the first couple of minutes of people dialing in):

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What’s Your Excuse? 4 Questions to Break to the Next Level!

What’s the reason you have for not going for “it” – your most authentic dream? Whatever “it” is in your life or career, most people have a reason it hasn’t happened yet. But if you look behind the reasons, you might just discover they could be reclassified as excuses. Now, I’m not trying to beat you up about your excuses. I want to help you break free of them so you can go to the next level. In fact, I’m inspired to write this column because I discovered I have a few excuses of my own. Up until recently, I called them “reasons.” Whatever you want to call them, they’re in the way. And you are the only one who can demand they go.

So what’s your excuse? Is it a lack of time? Money? Is it someone in your life you feel holds you back? Is the dream just too hard? Too complicated? Too much of a commitment? Maybe your excuse is a lack of education or experience or a mentor. Or perhaps if you just had more contacts or more friends or fewer obligations or weighed less or were younger or older or …

You get my point. Excuses allow us to justify our lack of progress. They can even bring you sympathy from others. They let you off the hook. But the truth is, when there is something you were meant to do, you’ll never truly be “off the hook.” You must do it, which means you must let go of your excuses. That means facing your fear. That’s what this is really all about. What really holds you back is fear – whether it is fear of success, and all the expectations that come with it, or fear of failure and all the disappointment or embarrassment that comes with it. Your fear might not be success or failure. It might be rejection or not being good enough.

Whatever your fear, the good news is you can muster the courage to conquer it. Choose to let go of all excuses for why you cannot have what you want in life. Coach yourself with these four excuse-shattering questions:

    1.  What’s my excuse?
    2.  What does this excuse give me permission to do (or not do)?
    3.  If I could no longer use this excuse, what would I have to do instead?
    4.  Why don’t I just do that now?

When you drop your excuses, you discover that the bottom line is you can pursue your dreams – or not. You can live life fully or you can live it small. Living fully takes courage. Courage is a choice. The choice is yours.

My challenge
Drop all excuses. Choose courage instead.

Journaling Questions
What is the main excuse you’ve used for not moving forward in a particular area of your life? What does your excuse give you permission to do? If you could no longer use the excuse, what would you have to do instead? When will you start doing that? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!

Doing Things Because You “Can” vs. Doing Things Because You are “Called”

If goals make your heart skip a beat, if competition is your strength, if the finish line is just a starting line to your next goal, then maybe your eyes have crossed paths with these words today for a purpose. I’m one of you.  Impulsively, I am always thinking about what the future holds and what I need to do right now to prepare for it.

One of my signature strengths is “future-mindedness.” I get downright excited about creating a vision. My husband and I even dreamt up a list while walking on a Bahamian beach on one of the lazy days of our honeymoon – of the adventures we wanted to experience and the kind of life we wanted to live. It was fun. And we are living it out. I love it. As a coach, I’ve helped hundreds get clear about a vision of their own.  But like any strength, you can overuse it.  Thinking too much about the future has, at times, overwhelmed my present moments. The constant quest for a new goal must be balanced with breaks between goals, moments of celebration and realistic expectations of what the achievement of another goal will bring. One day last year, while chatting with my own coach, I stumbled upon a question that intrigued me, “When have you done enough?”

In other words, does there always need to be another level, a new goal, another achievement to check off the list?  What would it feel like to set a goal to want less? Now that’s a different kind of a goal. To truly savor what you have, sometimes you must make the space to enjoy it – unencumbered by the pressure of the next thing on your must-do list. I’m not talking about having low standards or giving up on your dreams. I’m talking about giving yourself space to breathe and enjoy what you’ve already accomplished.

In our performance-driven culture, it can be easy to miss the point of setting a goal in the first place – to live out our purpose, experience the joy of life, and make an impact that leaves the world somehow better off.  There’s a big difference between doing something because you “can” and doing it because you’re “led.” There are endless options for what you “can” do, but most of them will distract you from what is best for you in this season of your life.  You may just find the goal is about a new kind of achievement in your life – the achievement of contentment and the inspiration that will emerge when you have the space to hear that still, small voice whispering what’s next on the horizon.

My challenge to you this week:
Identify the activity you are engaged in simply because you “can” do it, even though you don’t feel called to it.

Journaling assignment:
In what area(s) are you stressing yourself to accomplish more to the detriment of savoring the here-and-now? What do you do because you “can,” even though it doesn’t resonate or excite you?  What change does this week’s message prompt in you? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!

Just ONE WEEK Left to Register and Save! Join us in Atlanta June 6-8, 2015

I am so excited about The CaPP Institute celebrating 5 years of hosting the Coach Training Intensive (CTI)! This intensive is an accelerated personal and executive coaching course that also features our popular bonus Business Development Day for those who want to grow a highly profitable coaching business. It is designed to focus on the needs of professional coaches, business owners, psychologists/counselors, corporate managers and other leaders. The Coach Training Intensive will equip you with the skills to effectively coach clients, team members, staff, and others as they navigate through challenges and opportunities. See an exclusive peek inside our weekend intensive and see what YOU can experience at our June CTI!

Join me, my team of instructors and aspiring coaches just like you from all over the country June 6-8, 2015 in Atlanta, GA at the InterContinental Hotel.

 

Don’t miss out on this wonderful experience and check out the new additions this summer! Save 10% and receive a $25 gift certificate to our online store when you register by midnight April 7th.

Click here to register TODAY!

For questions, contact Erika Davis at 800.980.8208 ext.88/ edavis@cappinstittue.com

  

 

Hundreds registered for the powerful teleclass, Seven Secrets of Highly Successful Coaches last month. For those of you who missed it, here’s the link to download it for FREE! Stay tuned for more FREE teleclasses happening this month! 

 

 

5 Ways to Move into Your Season

As we usher in spring, I feel led to ask you, “Is it time to usher in a new season in your life?”  There are few things more frustrating than remaining stuck in the old when it’s time to embrace something new.  Sometimes the new thing is an inevitable change or transition, whether it was something you wanted or something that was thrust upon you. At other times, your new season is a goal you’ve been working towards, but now it’s time to notice that the thing you wished for is here.  You’ll have to shift your thinking so you can enjoy the vision that has finally come to fruition.  Whether your new season is related to your career, relationships, finances or health, consider these five ways to successfully step into a new phase of your life:

1. Say good-bye to the last season. In order to fully embrace what’s new, mark your passage from one season into the next.  If a child is about to head off to college, plan for a celebration to mark the milestone.  If you are moving from one place to another, acknowledge it in a meaningful way.  If you have lost someone or something important to you, grieve your loss so that you can eventually move forward in a healthy way.

2.  Embrace the new season. Once you’ve said good-bye, say “hello” to what’s new.  Dive in. Consider the things you are able to do now that you couldn’t before.  If you’re entering a difficult season, identify and embrace the help you will need to give you strength and perseverance.  Acknowledge your challenges, but be sure to open your eyes and notice the blessings, too.

3.  Ask, “What new habits do I need in this new season?” What worked in the last season, may not work in this new season. It’s like using your old house key to try to open the door to your new home.  What got you in the door there won’t work here.  Be flexible and adopt the new habits that will empower you to thrive in this new season.

4.  Ask, “Who do I need to connect with in this new season?” Relationships matter.  Don’t go it alone.  Reach out and connect with those who can help you and whom you can help.  When facing a major change, it’s your ability to connect with the right people that can make the difference between a smooth transition and a bumpy one.

5.  Ask, “What vision am I moving towards in my new season?” Often a new season means a new identity in some way.  Perhaps your role has changed, relationships have been severed, a job was lost or a move has put you in a totally new environment.  You may have had a vision – and even achieved it – in the previous season of your life, but now it’s time for something different.  Your old vision may not work in this new place.  What’s your new vision now?

 

My challenge to you this week: Let go of the old. Take hold of the new!

 

Journaling assignment: What new season are you stepping into? What new habits do you need? Who do you need to connect with? What’s your vision at this next stage? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!

Own Your Part

When I went through the most difficult challenge of my life, I made these five commitments that helped me come back better and not bitter. I shared them in a subsequent book, Where Will You Go From Here?: Moving forward when life doesn’t go as planned.

  • I will not feel sorry for myself.
  • I will not stare at the closed door.
  • I will direct my thoughts. My thoughts will not direct me.
  • I will dig deep to unearth all the courage I need.
  • I choose to believe all things work together for good.

But this week, I feel compelled to challenge you to consider one more commitment to help you grow through your mistakes and challenges:  Own the role you played in your setback.  Own it. Not to beat yourself up, but to avoid repeating the mistake.  Owning your role means letting go of blame.

The most successful people in life are often the ones who fail the most. They overcome their fears and go for it – whatever “it” is. They live fully, not wanting to fail, but also not afraid to fail.  They know that failure and mistakes offer the opportunity to make tweaks by learning what works well and what doesn’t.

What setback or challenge are you dealing with right now? What role did you play in the situation? What would shift if you admitted your role? When the situation involves others, and you seem to be at an impasse, it is powerful to simply acknowledge the role you played in the whole situation. It requires humility. It requires honesty. Both humility and honesty open the door to authentic relationships.  You can be dead wrong, but if you own your part, grace and forgiveness can emerge.  “I was so wrong about that. I am sorry.  Here’s what I would like to do moving forward.”

When the setback or mistake affects only you, you need to be just as humble and honest with yourself. In my biggest life setback, I did all that I could to fix the problem. Much of the problem wasn’t anything I created. It was simply the circumstances that presented themselves. However, there was one part I could own:  I didn’t wait on God before I had proceeded down the path that created the problem in the first place. In other words, if I had been patient, the whole mess would have never occurred. It wasn’t something I liked admitting, but it is was empowering because with one decision I could have saved myself the big mess I had to clean up.  It was a new perspective that gave me new wisdom that empowered me to make the right decision the next time around.

I don’t know what situation this applies to in your life right now, but I hope you’ll stop a moment and consider the way in which it is time to own your part. Let go of the blame and think critically about your choices. You have the power to change your entire life, but only when you look honestly at the choices you make and make adjustments that empower you to make better choices as you learn and grow along your journey.

My challenge to you this week: Own your part in the challenges you face.

Journaling assignment: What setback or challenge are you dealing with right now? What role did you play in the situation? What would shift if you admitted your role? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you.

Stop Overthinking It

In a conversation with an old friend this week, I was reminded of my own advice as I shared with her about a decision I was making. “What are you waiting for? The timing couldn’t be any more perfect!” she said. “If I’m honest, I guess I have some fear about it,” I admitted, to her dismay. “You? What are you talking about? You are one of the most courageous people I know!” she said emphatically. Unbeknownst to her, the conviction of her statement woke something inside of me. “You don’t let fear stop you. What are you talking about?”

Her words were few, but they were the jolt I needed. Sometimes, you need to be reminded of who you are and your track record of perseverance. If you’re still here, you’ve no doubt conquered some big decisions. If you are in decision mode this week, I want to remind you of this:

It’s possible to think too hard about a decision.

If it is time to move forward, yet you find yourself going back to the drawing board, asking the same questions, mulling over what’s already been mulled over, you’re probably thinking too hard. If the decision is important to you, fear is inevitable. But it’s not a stop sign. Your decision could be a next step that takes you from one season into the next. There will be some uncertainty. You will be out of your comfort zone. But soon enough, you’ll have a new comfort zone – and a new reality. It’s all a part of the process. Embrace it. Make your move. Expect fear. And do it anyway.

My challenge to you this week:
Don’t overthink it. Move forward with the decision that’s pressing you.

Journal about it:
What decision are you overthinking? What are you afraid will happen if you move forward with your decision now? Who is the wise friend who can speak truth that will encourage you to stop procrastinating and start moving forward? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!

4 Signs You’re Not Trusting Your Instincts

A few days ago, I felt moved to post this on Facebook:

“You know truth when you see it. Your spirit knows. Stop doubting and over analyzing. Trust your instincts.”

It is a simple truth, but one we often need to be reminded of.  If you’ve ever second guessed yourself only to remember later why you should not second guess yourself, you understand why being reminded of the power of trusting your instincts is so important. I believe our instincts are a divine gift – a sixth sense, the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  It isn’t always explainable, but it always powerful. This week, I want to remind you to trust your instincts on that decision you are making, that relationship you’re contemplating, or that conversation it’s time to have.  Pray about it. Listen, not just with your ears, but with your spirit. And muster the courage to act on it.  If you don’t, you’ll likely regret it – just like you have before.

We often don’t trust our instincts because of past mistakes. But if you are truly honest, you might just realize that in those past “mistakes,” your instincts were not wrong. They were ignored. Telling yourself the truth is the first step to getting unstuck.  Often, the truth is that we had a nagging feeling about the relationship, but moved forward anyway. We didn’t really want to take that job, but we didn’t have the patience or boldness to go for what we really wanted.  We didn’t feel at peace about that decision, but let someone talk us into. If you had followed your intuition, the outcome may indeed have been different. Consider these four signs that you’re not trusting your instincts, and this week, make a commitment to pay attention:

  • You have that nagging feeling. You know the feeling? Don’t do that. Something’s not quite right. The timing is off. Pay attention to those divine nudges in your spirit. If you don’t feel at peace about something, don’t move forward.

 

  • You’re busy asking everyone’s opinion. If the right decision isn’t necessarily the popular decision (especially if you are an approval addict), it can be tempting to seek other opinions. Wise counsel is good. People pleasing is not. Get off the phone, stop asking for opinions, and get quiet. Notice the answer that presents itself when you listen to that still, small voice.

 

  • The truth makes you uncomfortable. Sometimes your instincts lead you in a direction that stretches you beyond your comfort zone. And that will always make you UN-comfortable. That nagging truth might be inconvenient, but the sooner you acknowledge it, the better off you’ll be.
    You can either deal with it now or deal with it later.

 

  • You are overly-logical. Don’t get me wrong. Logic has its place. We must be strategic. But sometimes the pivotal decisions in life are not the most obvious. They are leaps of faith. You won’t always be able to figure it all out ahead of time. Take it one step at a time.

 

My challenge to you:
Get quiet.  Trust your instincts.

Journal about it:
What is the truth that your spirit knows, but you are doubting and overanalyzing? What action would that truth lead you to take? Is it time to act on the truth? Leave your comments below; I’d love to hear from you!

 

Guesting hosting the Roland Martin Show on Wednesday from 10am-1pm Eastern

Tune in and call in on Wednesday when I’ll be guest hosting The Roland Martin Show, simageyndicated in 26 cities, and live online from 10am-1pm Eastern! Are you ready to get unstuck, be happier and take a leap of faith to radically change your life? I’ll be talking with inspiring guests who’ve done just that – authors Taft Quincey Heatley, Sophia Nelson, Dr. Ro, and Genette Howard. It’ll be an inspiring three hours. If you don’t get the show locally, TuneIn to Empowerment Radio Network and listen from your smartphone or tablet with this app …

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