It’s graduation time and thousands of college grads are hopeful about what the future holds. For some, that future is a vision they can see clearly and for others, it’s fuzzy and they are just hoping for the best. If you are one of the thousands of graduates donning a cap and gown this spring – or you know someone who is, consider these five pearls of wisdom as you head into the “real world.” Ten to twenty years after graduation, these are the pearls of wisdom many grads say they wish they’d known when they graduated. Shorten your learning curve and embrace this wisdom now:

1. Go for what you really want.

Don’t downsize your dream before you’ve even attempted it. Go directly for the type of job you want while simultaneously being flexible. It is a challenging job market, but it is not impossible. Remember the phrase, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among stars.” It applies here. Don’t allow fear to keep you from going after what you really want.

2. Place is more important than position.

Landing a job in your field sometimes means landing a job that is beneath your skill level. But if that job puts you in the right environment, you can make connections and be ready when the right opportunity opens up. Be willing to pay your dues by getting your foot in the door, then show your employer your energy, dedication and ability. You may get an opportunity to move up once you’ve proven yourself.

3. No one owes you anything.

One of the biggest complaints I hear from leaders in today’s organizations is that too many young people have a sense of entitlement. Experience is a great teacher. Soak up all the knowledge you can. Get a mentor. Listen more than you speak. Don’t expect a promotion or because you show up and do your job. That’s what you’re paid to do. Employers don’t owe you appreciation, more money or a bigger job title.

4. Build a foundation for where you want to be ten years from now.

Know where you want to be in five years or ten years. If you’re not living your vision, you’re probably living someone else’s. So have a vision for where you want to go so you don’t wander aimlessly in your career, only to find yourself frustrated later because you didn’t aim high.

5. Build a life, not just a career.

Work hard, yes, but also play hard. Think about what you want for your personal life. Don’t live to work, work to live. When you consider jobs, think about the lifestyle you want to lead – do you want to be on call 24-7? Do you want to live near family or do you really not mind moving across the country or around the world? Are you willing to live far away for a few years, but plan to move back to your current area? Will your job give you time for a life outside of work?

Challenge:
Share this article with a recent grad and also determine which of the five pearls of wisdom most resonates with you.

Journaling:
What is the best piece of wisdom you know now that you wish you’d known when you were just starting out? How could you apply that wisdom to a current dilemma or challenge you face? Is it time to share that wisdom with a young person in your life?

“No man on his death bed ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’”

- The late Sen. Paul Tsongas of Massachusetts

When I moved to Maryland in 2003, my father serendipitously received a promotion to move from Colorado to nearby northern Virginia. We had not lived in the same city since I graduated from high school and I was excited that he’d be just 20 miles away. Despite the close proximity, we both noticed something: We didn’t actually see one another as often as we’d thought we would.

 Have you ever noticed that life sometimes gets so busy that it gets in the way of what you say is most important? It’s in those moments, that you must reassess your priorities and make sure your schedule reflects them. If you aren’t intentional about how you spend your time, it will slip through your fingers without bringing you some of the experiences that make your life rich and fulfilling.

To make sure we made time together a priority, Dad and I decided to set a standing appointment. On Fridays, we met for lunch. Same place. Same time. And on the occasions when one of us couldn’t make it, we made it a point to see each other at some other time. Our lunch dates ensured that we never became so busy that we’d go for weeks, living in the same metro area, without visiting with each other face to face. We visited at other times, too, of course, but we didn’t rely on happenstance and special occasions to see each other regularly. I now live in Atlanta, and I am intentional about spending time with my family here.

This week, I invite you to take a moment to consider the people with whom you most want to spend time with on a regular basis. Then carve out some time and put strong boundaries around it. There is so much vying for your attention that you must be intentional about making time for your relationships. I make it my rule to visit with my family here in Atlanta and South Carolina regularly. I also have a few friends with whom I get together once a month or so. If we don’t set a date, one of us calls the other to say, “Hey, it’s time for us to get together.”

To some, it may seem ridiculous to set appointments with yourself and the people you care about. Instead, I see it as a way to honor your most important relationships. In a world in which there is always something calling for your attention, it is essential that you take control of how you spend your time and put boundaries around the time that’s meant for your most important priority – your relationships. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Invite friends or family over once a month for an old-fashioned Sunday dinner.
• Eat breakfast or dinner together as a family.
• Choose a weekly “date night” for you and your spouse or significant other.
• Have a “game night” with your children or friends.
• Choose a favorite pastime and schedule regular time to enjoy it with someone you want to spend time with consistently.
• Set a standard for how often you want to see loved ones who do not live in your area. Honor your standard by taking out your calendar and marking the dates.
• Carve out regular time just for you. Just as it is important to make time for the important people in your life, it’s important to make time just for you, too!
• Come up with your idea by brainstorming with the person you want to carve out time for!

Living an inspired life means aligning your true priorities with your day-to-day actions. When you make time for your relationships, you’ll notice that other less meaningful activities may fall by the wayside. Take a deep breath and let them go. You can’t be all things to all people. Carve out time for the people who matter most to you. Enjoy!

Journaling assignment:

With whom do you need to be more intentional about spending quality time? When, how and how often would you like to spend time with them?

My challenge to you this week:

Carve out time in your schedule for the people who matter most to you. Make that time sacred by setting boundaries around it that cannot be infringed upon by work, other people or less significant priorities. Leave your comments below, I’d love to hear from you!