What causes you the most constant stress in your life? Is there something you've been worrying about or a relationship that's off balance? How about the cleaning you're always meaning to do, but never get around to, or the traffic that stresses you everyday as you commute to work?

When you look at the things in your life that cause you stress, it is likely that you can identify certain things that repeatedly stress you out on a daily or weekly basis. Your quality of life could skyrocket if you would make a decision to take action to eliminate these repeated stress problems altogether. I often ask questions that help my clients connect with the source of their stress and explore solutions. Here are a few questions you might consider exploring:

1. What three things cause you the most stress in your day?
By taking time to identify the sources of your stress, you raise your awareness, which is the first step to making a decision to change. Simply write down the three things that are causing you the most stress on a repeated basis.

2. What would you rather see in your life instead of these three stress factors?
Just as important as identifying the source of repeated stress is identifying what your ideal situation looks like. Imagine for a momemt what it would feel like to enjoy your life free of the things that stress you most. That life is possible, but it begins with a decision to take deliberate steps to create it. You have the power to change. The power is in the choices you make.

3. What actions could you take to free yourself of these recurring sources of stress?
Once you've identified the problems and your ideal situation, it's time to take action. Write down the steps you could take to move from problem to solution. Be creative. Consider every option. You may need to enlist the support of others. For example, if one of the three most stressful parts of your day is trying to make it from work to your child's school to pick him or her up on time, your solution may enlist the reciprocal support of other working parents. A carpool with one or more parents in your child's class might result in an agreement where one parent picks the children up from school, while another makes sure they get to school on time. By sharing your stressful dilemma, you enlist the support of others, and often find solutions that not only reduce your stress, but the stress of others who are dealing with the same type of stress.

4. Are you willing to make a change?
For far too many people, especially those who are high achievers, stress is caused by the resistance to making a change, even if it is a change for the better. The key is to let go of the perfectionist need to "do it all" and allow yourself the luxury of being human. It simply may not be possible for you to be a star at work, cook everyday, participate in multiple extracurricular activities, raise great kids, have a clean car, a perfect body and a great love life ... at least not without a whole lot of stress (which, of course, defeats the purpose of it all)! Be willing to make a change for sake of your peace of mind and a better quality of life. If change is uncomfortable, do a "trial run" and see how it goes. If the change doesn't satisfy you, go back to the old way of doing things. But at least be willing to try an alternative to your stressful lifestyle.

5. By when do you plan to eliminate these stresses from your life?
Identifying the problem and solution is great, but most importantly, you want to enjoy the end result. Whatever goals you have, the key is always to be specific and set a deadline. Plan on taking action over the next few days to free yourself from the recurring annoyances and stresses in your life. By this time next week, life will feel a lot more enjoyable.

 

Until next time ...