Week #20: What's right with you?
May 13, 2007
To be sure this e-newsletter arrives in your inbox each week, add richminds@valorieburton.com to your address book or approved list of senders.
Welcome and Announcements
Welcome to our 174 new subscribers since last week!
In the News
WHY NOT YOU? LIFE MAKEOVER CHALLENGE - I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Have
you made a major change after reading Why Not You? or one of my other
books? At the request of several magazines and media outlets, we are
looking for readers and clients who exemplify the benefits of life
coaching and the concepts in my books. Let me know what changes you've
made! Take my online survey at www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=791283868310 . Are you "Destined to Coach" or "Destined to Write"?
Check out our how-to teleclasses on CD in the online store at www.valorieburton.com/catalog.php?category=CDs . UPCOMING APPEARANCES: Washington, DC area (Fort Washington, MD)
Saturday, May 19th at 9:00 am
Panel discussion at Ebenezer AME Church
Followed by a booksigning at 10:30
7707 Allentown Road Charlotte, NC
Monday, May 21st at 7:00 pm
New Birth Charlotte at University Place
604 Doug Mayes Place
www.newbirthcharlotte.org Baltimore area (Catonsville), Maryland
Tuesday, May 29th at 7:00 pm
New Life Ministries
www.nlpm.org Signed copies of Why Not You? available online
Signed
copies of my new book, Why Not You? ($13.99) are now available in our
online store. We also have specials to save you up to 30% when you by
multiple copies. Buy five books for $55 or ten books for $99! Read the
book with a book club or group, or give multiple copies as gifts. Visit
our online store at www.valorieburton.com/books.html .
This Week's Topic: What's right with you?
“…Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever
is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable –
if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
- Philippians 4:8
Dear Friend,
Is
there a a situation or person that you’ve become critical of? Does your
frustration with what’s wrong cause you to lose sight of what’s right?
In relationships, jobs, finances and even your health, I’ve noticed
that there is a natural tendency in our sometimes pessimistic culture
to hone in on what’s wrong with people and situations. Sometimes this
is the focus even when there isn’t much wrong at all. This
week, I challenge you to focus on what’s right in your life. Rather
than, "What's wrong with you?", my question is "What's right with you?"
Of course, there are times when there are so many things wrong with a
person or a situation that it’s clearly time for a change. But I have
found that more often than not, our thoughts can be out of balance. The
things that are wrong are blown out of proportion. “…Whatever is true,
whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is
lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or
praiseworthy – think about such things,” the apostle Paul advises in
Philippians 4:8. Often the criticism you give yourself and
others is a result of the pattern you learned elsewhere – from parents,
teachers, bosses or peers. People are quick to point out what’s wrong
with a person or a situation, but it’s just as important in every
valuable relationship and situation to point out what’s right. Consider
how you could focus more on what’s right and lovely, pure and noble,
admirable and praiseworthy with the following people in your life: 1. With your spouse or significant other.
The
person you are closest to can be most vulnerable to the “what’s wrong
with you?” syndrome. When you are close to someone, you see all of
their shortcomings – often daily and with consequences that you
experience directly. But don’t lose sight of why your sweetheart is so
special to you in the first place. It’s certainly OK to address issues
that need to be addressed, but put things into proper perspective.
What’s right about your spouse or significant other? Are you spending
more time focusing on what frustrates you rather than what brings you
joy in your relationship? 2. With family members.
Most
people in our lives are not going to change. Make a decision to accept
your family members as they are. Find something to appreciate about
them and focus on it. There will always be something you can complain
about, but healthy relationships are not based on complaints and
conditional love. They are based on acceptance and unconditional love. 3. With children.
As
kids, we are taught to conform and fit in. Being different is not often
rewarded. “Stop that!,” “Those shoes don’t go with that shirt!,” or
“You’re talking too much!” are just a few of the phrases a parent might
utter to a child in an effort to get him or her to do things “right.”
Of course, it’s important to teach a child (Proverbs 22:6)– but it’s
also important to balance criticism with encouragement and praise
(Romans 14:19). Kids need to know they are doing something right. It
builds their confidence and self-esteem. Be intentional about
acknowledging them for what they do well. 4. At work.
There
may be aspects of your work that are not going as you would like, but
it may serve you well to focus less on those aspects and more on the
blessings of your work situation. Even if it doesn’t seem like there
are many blessings, there are some. So stay focused on the positive. 5. With yourself.
Sure.
There may be some things you need to work on, but there are many more
things that you can celebrate about yourself and your progress. Beating
yourself up for things you regret or wish were different will not
change the past. Focus on the present. Celebrate your milestones. And
if you have a legitimate complaint about some aspect of your behavior
or your life, then take action towards changing it. It’s your choice.
Stop complaining and work towards your solution. Focus your energy on
what you want and you’ll create just that. Journaling assignment:
In what ways am I overly critical of things, people or myself? What new thoughts would I like to focus on in these areas? My challenge to you this week:
For
the next seven days, choose to focus on what’s right about the things
and people in your life, as well as what’s right about you!
Until next time ... Warm wishes,
 P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this newsletter and invite others to subscribe! Just send them to
www.valorieburton.com, where they can enter their email address on the home page. Valorie
Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life,
Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, and her
latest, Why Not You?. Subscribe to her FREE, inspirational e-newsletter
at www.valorieburton.com.
Don't forget to take our online survey!
WHY NOT YOU? LIFE MAKEOVER CHALLENGE - I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Have
you made a major change after reading Why Not You? or one of my other
books? At the request of several magazines and media outlets, we are
looking for readers and clients who exemplify the benefits of life
coaching and the concepts in my books. Let me know what changes you've
made! Take my online survey at www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=791283868310 .
Please feel free to forward the Rich Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter
to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. The Rich
Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter is written and distributed by Inspire,
Inc. Copyright (c) 2007 Valorie Burton. All rights reserved. www.valorieburton.com.
|
