Week #23: Stop the comparisons!
June 3, 2007
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your stress by taking control of your finances. Are you living below
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difficult to take control of your finances, save and invest, or do many
of the things you know you should, but for some reason don’t? This
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This Week's Topic: Stop the comparisons!
Dear Friend, “It just seems like I should
be much further along,” a friend told me last week as she beat herself
up for her perceived lack of progress. “It just feels like everyone
else who is doing what I’m doing has things figured out and I just keep
stumbling.” “Who is everyone else?” I asked, imagining a collective “they” whom she compared herself to. She
paused for a moment, then started naming some of the most successful
people in her field – all with considerably more time invested, and a
number of stumbles along the way. “So … I’m curious,” I continued. “Where were “they” at this stage on their path?” As
she began to think about it, she realized “they” were no further along
than she and that the comparisons were causing her to unfairly judge
herself. Several times last week, I found myself in conversations
where a person made an assumption or a comparison that caused them to
fret over some aspect of life. In the process, they found themselves
frustrated at their own lack of progress and under self-imposed
pressure to catch up, do more or figure something out. Amazingly each
time, it was discovered that the assumptions at first appeared true,
but in reality, the assumptions were false. All they needed to do was
to keep moving forward on their path - and be patient with the process
of progress. This week, I invite you to embrace this phrase as your mantra: Progress is a process!
When you spend too much time comparing yourself to others, you take
your eyes off of your vision and create unnecessary seeds of doubt and
insecurity. When you are tempted to compare yourself with
others, or condemn yourself for what you have or haven’t done, consider
these four simple questions to help you be more gentle with yourself,
and begin embracing the process of progress. 1. Are your expectations realistic?
It
is important to expect success, but it is equally important not to set
your expectations so high that they are rarely, if ever, met. Dream
big! Then give yourself a realistic timeline in which to manifest the
dream. One of the biggest reasons people never reach their vision is
that they expect it to come to life quickly. Give yourself the time and
space to succeed – and measure success by your definition, not everyone
else’s. 2. How far have you come?
It can be easy to
forget that every circumstance is unique. Perhaps you could be further
along, but you’ve had a lot to overcome along the way. Give yourself
credit for the progress you’ve made. Perhaps you struggle in
relationships or communicating with others, but never saw positive
relationships or communication modeled for you growing up. Even though
you may not be where you want to be, be grately for the strides you've
made in areas that are difficult. Perhaps it isn’t in relationships,
but in your finances or work, health or other habits. Acknowledge your
progress. 3. Where are you in the process?
Progress
is a process. If you’ve recently transitioned into a new career,
started a business, a relationship or other goal, consider where you
are in the process. Be willing to stick with your plan, persevere and
practice patience as you move through the stages of learning and growth
along your journey. 4. What are you doing right?
Make
a list of what you are doing right. When you lose your focus by making
comparisons, it is important to bring to mind your positive actions and
attributes. This kind of acknowledgement can be the reality check or an
energy boost to get you unstuck and refocused on the things you can
control. My challenge to you this week:
Stop making
comparisons and remember that progress is a process! This week, when
you find yourself comparing yourself to others - whether personally or
professionally, make a conscious decision to redirect your focus to
what you are doing right. Journaling assignment:
In
what area of your life do you most often find yourself making
comparisons? In what ways are the comparisons negatively impacting you?
What do you want instead? What are you willing to do differently?
Until next time ... Warm wishes,
 P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this newsletter and invite others to subscribe! Just send them to
www.valorieburton.com, where they can enter their email address on the home page. Valorie
Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life,
Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, and her
latest, Why Not You?. Subscribe to her FREE, inspirational e-newsletter
at www.valorieburton.com.
Conquer Emotional Spending begins this Thursday!REGISTER NOW ...
This three-week teleclass will be held June 7th, 14th and 28th at 1:00 pm Eastern
------------------------------------------------------------------
I
have created a new coaching program for those who are ready to decrease
your stress by taking control of your finances. Are you living below
your financial potential? Do you earn a good living, but find it
difficult to take control of your finances, save and invest, or do many
of the things you know you should, but for some reason don’t? This
truthfrul and practical teleclass will get you on the path to true
financial freedom! For more information and to register, visit www.valorieburton.com/catalog.php?category=Teleclasses .
Please feel free to forward the Rich Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter
to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. The Rich
Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter is written and distributed by Inspire,
Inc. Copyright (c) 2007 Valorie Burton. All rights reserved. www.valorieburton.com.
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