Week #44: Speak Up!
October 28, 2007
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This Week's Topic: Speak Up!
“The power of life and death is in the tongue.” - Proverbs 18:21 Dear Friend, While
interning for a minor league sports team during graduate school, I
heard rumblings one afternoon that civil rights icon Rosa Parks was in
the building. Our offices were in the civic center, and she was coming
through Tallahassee for a brief appearance. The team coach, a Canadian
man who would have been alive when Mrs. Parks defiantly – and famously
– spoke up for her rights on a city bus in 1955, was determined to see
her. “I’m going to see if I can meet her,” he exclaimed, and headed out the door. I
remember thinking, “I want to go, too! But who am I? I’m just an intern
– a 21 year old student. I don’t want to bother the coach with this. I
would love to meet Mrs. Parks, but I don’t want to bother her, either.
I’m sure she doesn’t have time to stop and talk to random strangers.” About
45 minutes later, the coach excitedly and proudly walked back into the
office. “I met her!” he said. “And got a photo, too.” Then he looked at
me. “You should have come with me.” My heart sank. “What was I thinking?” I thought. If only I’d spoken up. This
week, as I reminisce about this story and things others have shared
with me recently, I feel led to challenge you to speak up. Too often,
we bury our voice out of fear – irrational fear about what we have the
right to ask for, what others will think, or how they will respond.
Whether you need to speak up by asking for what you want, defending
yourself, or expressing your feelings, know that speaking up is about
honoring what you know to be true for you. It’s the reason I wrote the
book Why Not You? – to help you raise your awareness of the ways in
which doubt causes you to hesitate so that you can intentionally defeat
it. The longer you bury your own voice, the more frustrated and
angry you become. In an area in which you’ve been silent for too long,
how could you respectfully and authentically allow your voice to
emerge. Whether “speaking up” means asking someone to return something
that’s been borrowed from you or letting someone know a boundary has
been crossed, here are some things to consider: 1. Be authentic.
Just
be you. Refuse to allow fear to keep you from saying what you need to
say. Sometimes that means being willing to be vulnerable. Don’t worry
about what others think. Be true to you. 2. Know the power within you.
Nothing
changes until something is communicated. Your words, when used wisely
and authentically, have the power to initiate change, express feelings,
and uplift the world around you. Be intentional about how you use that
power. 3. Don’t let your emotions rule you.
Your
emotions are teachers. Pay attention to them, and ask, “What message is
this emotion sending me right now? What could I do differently as a
result?” Speaking up is not about saying everything on your mind, but
saying the things that need to be said. That sometimes means taking a
deep breath or even a few days to evaluate what needs to be said and
when. 4. Consider the right timing.
There is a time
for everything. Sometimes the time is now, and sometimes it is later.
If it’s now, don’t let your opportunity pass you by. If it is something
that needs more thought and consideration, don’t force the issue.
Consider whether the environment, momentary emotions and frame of mind
of both parties are right. Follow your intuition. 5. Get to the point.
Don’t
beat around the bush with what you have to say. Just say it! If you
have a particularly difficult conversation you need to have, write down
your thoughts so you don’t get flustered in the moment. 6. Acknowledge yourself for having the courage to speak up!
Even
if you don’t say what you have to say exactly as you had hoped, give
yourself credit for speaking up. It’s tempting to rehash a conversation
and critique what you should have said. When you start down that path,
ask, “What would I rather do that next time I find myself in that type
of conversation?” Then move on. Change is a process. Give yourself the
grace to be imperfect and the encouragement to grow. My challenge to you this week:
Speak up! Just say it. You know what “it” is. :) Journaling assignment:
In
what area(s) of your life have you been burying your voice or not
speaking up when you want to? What do you need to say? When is the best
time to say it? What action will you take this week?
Until next time ... Warm wishes,
 P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this newsletter and invite others to subscribe! Just send them to
www.valorieburton.com, where they can enter their email address on the home page. Valorie
Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life,
Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, and her
latest, Why Not You?. Subscribe to her FREE, inspirational e-newsletter
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