Week #7:
Love 101: You can't give what you don't have
February 11, 2007
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This Week's Topic:
Love 101: You can't give what you don't have
Dear Friend, “Love your neighbor as
yourself,” is one of the two greatest commandments (Mark 12:31). It is
often quoted when someone is making a point of the importance of loving
others. But the most important element of that command is, “as
yourself.” If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you won’t be very
good at loving any one else. After all, you cannot give what you do not
have. Let this week’s message serve as inspiration to fill up your love
tank. As we celebrate Valentine’s Day this week, I invite you to
consider how well you are doing at loving – both yourself and others.
Those who love others without loving themselves often attract people
and situations that are disrespectful, less than they deserve and
disappointing on many levels. You teach others how to treat you by how
you treat yourself. This isn’t simply about self-esteem. Do you take
care of yourself (eating healthy, exercising, staying away from toxic
people)? Do you consistently make time for yourself to meditate and
pray? Do you give yourself a break when you need one? All of these
things are acts of self-love. Let go of energy-draining situations and friendships.
One
of the most loving things you can do in your life is to fill it with
loving, peaceful relationships and situations. What’s draining your
energy? What loving action can you take to eliminate your energy drain? Give yourself permission to pursue your passion.
Another
loving action you can take is to give yourself permission to follow
your dreams. When you love someone, you want them to have joy in their
lives. Give yourself permission to experience all the joy that is
available to you – whether it is a hobby, career, place you want to
live or a talent you want to develop. Know what nourishes your spirit and make sure you get plenty.
Rest,
pampering, time alone, prayer, worship, a good book. What nourishes
your spirit and pampers you? Schedule it regularly on your calendar. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for you.
We
often “settle” out of fear that we won’t be able to do any better.
Refuse to settle. Instead, be willing to do what it takes to bring your
vision for your life to fruition – even if it means it will take longer
than you originally planned. In the long run, settling takes more time,
frustration or both as you deal with the disappointment. Acknowledge yourself for a job well done.
Most
people love to be acknowledged for their efforts. Unfortunately, too
many rarely acknowledge themselves. You give them a compliment, and
they minimize it or won’t receive it with a simple ‘thank you.’ Talk back to your negative inner critic.
Love
makes no record of wrongs. In other words, stop adding up everything
you’ve done “wrong” and start focusing on what you’ve done right and
what your next steps are. When that negative inner critic starts
reminding you of the negative, counter it with the truth: You are
getting better and better every day. Be patient and kind.
Perhaps
you are trying to change in a particular area of your life. Or you
haven’t achieved something you thought you would have. Can you be
patient with yourself as you change and grow? Will you be kind with
yourself as you persevere? Let others love you.
Do
you have a habit of blocking others from loving you? You put up a wall
that shuts them out or make excuses that keep others at bay. Practice
letting the people who care about you love you. Learn to receive love
and express gratitude. Love flows - and that means it is a
back-and-forth exchange. You can't do all the giving and you can't do
all the taking. Both people must experience what it feels like to give
and what it feels like to receive. Love someone else.
One
of the fastest ways to put your life into perspective is to be a
blessing every where you go. Do people have more energy when they are
around you – or less? Is there life better because they crossed your
path? When you love yourself in a healthy way, being a vessel of love
every day brings you absolute joy. Even a simple smile can do wonders
to bless someone else and lift your spirits. My challenge to you this week:
Do something loving for yourself. Practice a random act of kindness and love towards someone else. Journaling assignment:
What
makes you feel loved? How could you incorporate that into your life on
a consistent basis? What makes the people closest to you feel loved?
How can you ensure that you are sharing that love with them
consistently?
Until next time ... Warm wishes,
 P.S. Encourage your friends and family by sharing this newsletter and invite others to subscribe! Just send them to
www.valorieburton.com, where they can enter their email address on the home page. Valorie
Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life,
Rich Minds, Rich Rewards and her latest, What's Really Holding You
Back?. She coaches groups and individuals to live their best lives.
Learn about her coaching groups and subscribe to her FREE,
inspirational e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.
Register for Teleclasses Online Now ...
These three-week teleclasses are conducted by phone so you can participate from anywhere in the world. 1. Only one week left to register for ESSENTIALS OF CHRISTIAN COACHING, which begins February 20. Go to http://www.valorieburton.com/tele.html. 2. Early Bird registration for DESTINED TO SPEAK! ends February 19th. Go to http://www.valorieburton.com/tele.html to save. 3. $IX-FIGURE SALES HABITS FOR SOLO ENTREPRENEURS starts April 3rd. Early bird rates in effect now at http://www.valorieburton.com/tele.html .
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Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter is written and distributed by Inspire,
Inc. Copyright (c) 2007 Valorie Burton. All rights reserved. www.valorieburton.com.
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