Dear Friend,

 

Love blossoms because of the little things - thoughtful words, selfless acts, and a simple 'thank you,' to name a few.  But in the hectic pace of life, it is too easy to forget to incorporate the little things into your everyday interactions with the one you love.  As you celebrate love this month, here are three, simple love rules to live by:
 
1.      Give what they want, not what you want.
Do you give others what you wish they would give you?  You focus on doing thoughtful little things for your sweetheart - leaving love notes or giving little gifts - when what he really wants is more affection.  You take her on a date to the basketball game when what she really wants is a simple dinner at home - prepared by you.  That would say "I love you," to her.  It is truly a loving act to ask, "What makes the person I love feel loved by me?" and then to begin loving that person the way they need to be loved.  If you can't figure out the answer on your own, ask and listen carefully to your loved one's answer.  Take notes if you need to!
 
2.      See the good.
It is so easy to focus on what's wrong with the person you love - all the things they do that you don't like.  But chances are, they have some really good qualities, too.  Refuse to allow frustrations about his bad habit(s) cause you to lose sight of the good qualities that are so meaningful to you.  There's certainly nothing wrong with asking your sweetheart to change a bad habit.  By all means, ask for what you want.  But simultaneously choose to focus on the good by verbally acknowledging it and appreciating it.  In work and in love, people are more likely to change their bad habits when they are also acknowledged and rewarded for their good habits.
 
3.      Don't focus on being right, focus on being happy.
There are a lot of lonely people who can claim they are right.  In the quest to prove a point, pride chips away at love.  Many heated arguments start over issues that, in the grand scheme of life, really don't matter that much.  Before fighting a battle, ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now?"  If it won't, take a deep breath, let it go and enjoy the day.
 
My challenge to you this week:
Use at least one of these three strategies to take a step towards improving an important relationship in your life. 
 
Journaling assignment:
In what way(s) have you been giving what you want rather than giving what the other person wants?  How are you allowing frustrations to overshadow the positive qualities of your mate?  In what relationship is it time for you to stop focusing on being right or to start focusing on being happy?

 

Until next time ...

Warm wishes,

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Valorie Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, Why Not You? and her latest, How Did I Get So Busy? The 28-Day Plan to Free Your Time, Reclaim Your Schedule and Reconnect with What Matters Most. Subscribe to her FREE, inspirational e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.

Please feel free to forward the Rich Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. The Rich Minds, Rich Rewards E-Newsletter is written and distributed by Inspire, Inc. Copyright (c) 2008 Valorie Burton. All rights reserved. www.valorieburton.com.