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Week 6: 3 Ways to Improve Love Relationships
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Week 6: 3 Ways to Improve Love Relationships
Love blossoms because of the little things - thoughtful words, selfless
acts, and a simple 'thank you,' to name a few. But in the hectic pace
of life, it is too easy to forget to incorporate the little things into
your everyday interactions with the one you love. As you celebrate
love this month, here are three, simple love rules to live by:
1. Give what they want, not what you want.
Do
you give others what you wish they would give you? You focus on doing
thoughtful little things for your sweetheart - leaving love notes or
giving little gifts - when what he really wants is more affection. You
take her on a date to the basketball game when what she really wants is
a simple dinner at home - prepared by you. That would say "I love
you," to her. It is truly a loving act to ask, "What makes the person
I love feel loved by me?" and then to begin loving that person the way
they need to be loved. If you can't figure out the answer on your own,
ask and listen carefully to your loved one's answer. Take notes if you
need to!
2. See the good.
It is so
easy to focus on what's wrong with the person you love - all the things
they do that you don't like. But chances are, they have some really
good qualities, too. Refuse to allow frustrations about his bad
habit(s) cause you to lose sight of the good qualities that are so
meaningful to you. There's certainly nothing wrong with asking your
sweetheart to change a bad habit. By all means, ask for what you
want. But simultaneously choose to focus on the good by verbally
acknowledging it and appreciating it. In work and in love, people are
more likely to change their bad habits when they are also acknowledged
and rewarded for their good habits.
3. Don't focus on being right, focus on being happy.
There
are a lot of lonely people who can claim they are right. In the quest
to prove a point, pride chips away at love. Many heated arguments
start over issues that, in the grand scheme of life, really don't
matter that much. Before fighting a battle, ask yourself, "Will this
matter one year from now?" If it won't, take a deep breath, let it go
and enjoy the day.
My challenge to you this week:
Use at least one of these three strategies to take a step towards improving an important relationship in your life.
Journaling assignment:
In
what way(s) have you been giving what you want rather than giving what
the other person wants? How are you allowing frustrations to
overshadow the positive qualities of your mate? In what relationship
is it time for you to stop focusing on being right or to start focusing
on being happy?
Until next time...
Warm wishes,
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Valorie Burton, a life coach and speaker, is the author of Listen to Your Life, Rich Minds, Rich Rewards, What's Really Holding You Back?, Why Not You? and her latest, How Did I Get So Busy? The 28-Day Plan to Free Your Time, Reclaim Your Schedule and Reconnect with What Matters Most. Subscribe to her FREE, inspirational e-newsletter at www.valorieburton.com.
Please feel free to forward The Coaching Session with Valorie Burton E-Newsletter to friends and colleagues, but please forward in its entirety. The Coaching Session with Valorie Burton E-Newsletter is written and distributed by Inspire, Inc.
(c) Copyright 2010 Valorie Burton and Inspire Inc. |
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